Pass The Puppies

Whenever I have a crappy day at work or someone is getting on my last nerve, I go to Cute Overload and focus on the cuteness. Take these adorable Dachshund puppies, for example.

Just looking at their puppy faces takes my blood pressure down a few notches. Which goes to show that any breed of puppy can be cute...because I don't normally like Dachshunds. In all honesty, I am afraid of them. Why? So glad you asked.

When I was little, my grandparents would come to visit us in their green Dodge pickup. The back of the Dodge was covered in a canopy that housed their tiny Dachshund, Fritzi. Fritzi was used to the slow movements and sedentary lifestyle of old people. Therefore, little kids, like my brother and me, really pissed her off.

So, while my Mom entertained my grandparents and my Dad scurried off to the garage to work on stuff, Fritzi stayed in the Dodge in the driveway. My brother and I liked to ride our bikes in the driveway, so naturally, we rode around and around the truck. This incensed Fritzi to the point where I thought she might have a doggy stroke. She would lunge at us each time we circled and bare her pointy little teeth while her mouth rippled with rage.

And, as little children will do, we sometimes teased her by tapping on the glass window of the canopy. Frizti would catapult herself at us, frothing at the mouth. My brother and I would jump away, scared, but exhilarated at the same time.

We usually got a light reprimand, like, "Kids, leave the dog alone. Why don't you go play in the backyard." I was always kind of surprised that we didn't get in more trouble, but later, I would find out that my Mom hated Fritzi, too.

Eventually, Fritzi died from natural causes and my grandparents didn't want to drive the truck anymore, so they gave it to my Dad. And then my brother and I had to ride in the back of the truck. The canopy was still on, but we still ended up inhaling a fair bit of exhaust because the back window of the canopy broke out when my Dad's lawnmower hit it, so the window frame was covered in clear plastic. (I don't think the carbon monoxide caused too much brain damage...)

Fritzi was probably laughing at us from dog heaven and saying, "Suck on those fumes, beyotches."