WWJB?

If Jesus were alive today, do you think he'd be a thrifty shopper? Perhaps he'd like to shop at the Jesus 99 cent store? Perhaps you'd like to shop there! There are some great items here to be sure. Need to make a fashion statement? (Literally.) The Jesus Loves You flip flops would be comfy and broadcast your beliefs, but I wish they made some that had "Jesus Loves You" on the sole of one shoe, and then "But Everyone Else Thinks You're an Asshole" on the other. Do you think they'd do a special order for me?

If you need a snack, then how about a Bible Bar? (It's got seven holy ingredients. Take that, Power Bar!) If you're still hungry, fry up some vittles in your shiny new Jesus Pan. Afterwards, to freshen your breath, help yourself to a Testamint. Mmmm, minty.

If you feel like you're plumping up after too many Bible Bars, then you might need The Praise Workout . It would whittle your waistline and give you six-pack abs. (But are they wearing adult diapers? Call me crazy, but I'd stick with yoga pants. Much more flattering. But that's just me.)

All this on-line shopping got you late for your protest of gay marriage down at the town hall? You shoulda bought a Time For the Word clock! (And I'm not talking about "The Word" on the Colbert Report.) This clock will give you a new bible verse every hour on the hour and help you to stay on time! Amen to that.

So get out there and get shopping! Okilly Dokilly?