We've Got Zeno

I saw a sign on the Walgreen's down the street a few weeks ago that said, "We've got Zeno!" I had no idea what that meant, and guessed that perhaps it was a zesty malt beverage like Zima. But then, I thought, they don't sell booze at Walgreen's, so I investigated.

According to the Sephora site, "Zeno™ is a hand-held, battery-powered medical device, cleared by the FDA, used to treat mild to moderate inflammatory acne pimples." Sounds great, right? Got an interview? Hot date night? Holiday party? Just Zeno those little bastard blemishes away and you're set for clear skin.

But wait, the description goes on to say, "Zeno applies a precisely controlled heat dose directly to the pimple through a metal pad. One treatment lasts 2 1/2 minutes." WTF? So basically, you're burning those little f*ckers, right? (And is it just me, or does the Zeno look like a lighter?)

I can see something like this getting way out of hand. "Um, yeah, I zapped my zit for two and half minutes and it's still there! I'll just zap it again for good measure. Oh, shit! I grabbed my Zippo instead of my Zeno and I burned off the side of my chin! My face looks like melted candle wax! Damn you, Zeno!"

I think I'll stick with Proactiv.