Girlfriend

I stumbled upon Suze Orman's show on MSNBC the other night.

Previously, I had only ever seen Kristen Wiig impersonating Orman, which was a hoot even without knowing what Suze's show was really like.

While Wiig's satire is funnier than the actual show, the show itself was so gripping that I couldn't stop watching it!

I liked the "Can I Afford It" part the best, even though it made me feel poor and ill-equipped to reach financial solvency. How the segment works is that people call in and ask if they can afford something pretty spendy, like an $8000 hot tub. Then, they outline their take home monthly salary, the amount of money they owe on their mortgage or how much they pay in rent, the amount they have in savings, the amount in their 401k and their credit card debt, if they have any. Almost all the people calling appeared to have enough money to buy whatever they want, if you ask me. But Suze went on to approve or deny them their purchase, based on their individual financial situations. It was riveting and hilarious, because, like Wiig as Suze, real Suze really does call everyone "girlfriend" or "boyfriend", respectively, and does shake her head and stress each word separately, like, "Don't. Even. Think. About. Buying. Anything. Until. You've. Paid. Off. Your. Credit. Card. Debt. Girl. Friend."

Meanwhile, as I was deeply entrenched in Suze's world, Aaron wanted to go to Lowe's to get a shelf for his keyboard stand. The only thing that could pull me away was his promise that we could visit the Krispy Kreme by Lowe's and get a chocolate iced cream filled donut and decaf coffee with cream (but not "kreme").

But I must know - do you ever watch Suze? Did she make you feel woefully under-prepared for your future? Because I now see that I clearly need to start saving more and pronto. Which is precisely why when we returned from Lowe's, I tuned into "Rock of Love Charm School". Even though I could probably stand to be more fiscally responsible, I can proudly say that my name isn't "Rodeo" or "Dallas", I don't spit on people, and I know that underwear should never ever be worn as outerwear. And that, girlfriend, is priceless.