Things That Go Bump In The Night (And In The Daytime)

We have been experiencing a terrible banging sound at the condo for the past few days. It started on Friday night and I could not figure out what it was. It was intermittant, but sounded like pounding. I thought maybe someone was just hammering up a picture or something.

By Sunday night, the banging had reached tremendous repetitive proportions. I lay in bed and imagined a plethora of possible causes. Maybe some methhead downstairs from us was tweaking and building an endless supply of Ikea furniture. Perhaps one of our neighbors is a sex addict and it was the sound of a headboard banging marathon. Could someone be creating a shrine to the guy from Hellraiser, who is hell bent on pounding a thousand tiny nails into their wall with copius attention to the spacing detail? I couldn't tell you, but by midnight on Sunday, I was f*cking freaking out and started to bang on the wall myself, in a passive aggressive attempt to make the annoying pounding cease.

Last night, I made Aaron climb up on the roof of the building to investigate. Nobody could pound that long without a break, so we thought it had to be loose siding or something. After careful inspection, Aaron ruled that it was a bent fan blade in one of the air vents that was clanking against its metal enclosure every time the wind blew. Mystery solved!

I emailed the Homeowner's Association and they are sending a roofer over today to rectify the situation. And if they don't, trust me, I will raise holy hell, just like I did with the paperboy, because nothing comes between me and a good night's sleep.