Extreme Makeover: Condo Edition

We're in the throes of decorating the condo. It's turning out to be a bit more challenging than I anticipated. It's basically like an episode of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" at our house, but we're not grief-stricken and making everyone cry and Ty Pennington isn't lurking about being an all-around-great guy and having "poignant moments" with Aaron and me. Or is he? Cut to scene in our living room...

"So what made you feel that the balsa wood bookshelf from Fred Meyer wouldn't cut it as an entertainment center anymore?" Me, bawling and barely able to speak, "Well, Ty, I (chin quivering, I bite my lip), I just didn't think that this here shelf looked so good anymore and I wanted an entertainment center with (I suck in air and blow a load of snot into a tissue that Ty generously provides for me), well, I wanted an entertainement center with...dooooooooooors," I break down in body-racking sobs and my eyes puff up like an egg souffle. Ty turns to the camera and somberly repeats, "She just wanted doors for her entertainment center, folks." Ty is silent for a moment to let this information sink in. Aaron nods and pats my arm.

Then Ty looks back at me, and says, quietly at first and then with almost out-of-control excitment, "Well, we've got an entertainment armoire for you here WITH DOORS and it's ALREADY BEEN PUT TOGETHER WITH ONE OF THOSE F*ING ALLEN WRENCHES THAT ARE THE SIZE OF A PAIR OF TWEEZERMAN TWEEZERS!" He beams at the camera smugly. Aaron and I jump up and down like prizewinners on the "Price is Right" and maul Ty with hugs and mucous-y snot. Ty winks at the camera with an air of confidence and tries to remain a safe and snot-free distance from us as the show fades to a commercial about Lipitor...