Shopping Woes

Do you ever feel like you're constantly shopping and then every item you buy requires another item to make it work? Like, you buy a cute tank top, but then you need some type of convertible bra? Or you buy a new skirt, but none of your shirts match it, so it hangs in the closet until you find the perfect top (which is never)? Or maybe you found a sweet vintage tomato red handbag, but dammit, you don't own a thing that you can wear as an outfit to go with it?

Or maybe you just can't find a frickin' pair of pants or capris that fit all the dimensions of the ass/waist/rise ratio?

I am faced with this challenge as we speak. It's really got me down. I went to Old Navy on Saturday in hopes of finding some inexpensive tops, but I was completely unsuccessful. All the tops that I tried on seemed to have the opacity of tissue paper

and they hugged every "flaw" (read: back roll) in a very unflattering fashion. Also, is it just me, or is every shirt these days so long that it reaches down to practically your kneecaps? I'm all for covering that ass crack with a lengthy top, but damn, I don't need a shirt that completely covers my butt. If I wanted something that long, I'd just wear a dress over my pants. (But I think that looks kind of dumb and veers into the mini-skirt/leggings territory, where only grade-schoolers should tread.)

And let's not even talk about the jeans debacle. I tried on jeans at Old Navy, too. Sweetheart jeans my ass. I know, I know, maybe I should stop shopping with the pre-teens and move on up to a grown-up store. But Old Navy is like gambling, because you win every now and then with a stylish denim jacket or trendy graphic tee. They've got you coming and going, as my Mom always says.

After such irritation, I had no energy for more shopping. All I could do was go to Ulta and redeem my "gift" of a free salon nail polish. I got some type of red color that was called "O'Hare and nails look great" or some other nonsense that doesn't reflect the color at all.

It was slightly uplifing, but I still felt dejected.

It's very sad. I think I've lost my shopping mojo. If I don't find joy and satisfaction when I go to H&M in a couple weeks, I may seek therapy. Or start wearing Sport Savvy Athleisure wear sets from QVC. (I'm already going to happy hour at 4pm to get my dinner for half off regular price, so matching tracksuits are only a step away.)