How Not to Look Old

I just finished a book called "How not to Look Old" by Charla Krupp. It's all about ways not to look like a frumpy mini-van driving soccer mom. Charla points out a lot of things that you've probably already heard on Oprah. Wear dark wash boot cut jeans. Wear Spanx and buy a good bra. Put on some make-up, take off your sweatpants and get a hair cut. Throw away any clothes that are stained or ratty and get rid of crap that you never wear.

What stood out to me, though, was that the Charla admitted to having had plastic surgery to look younger - an eye lift to be precise. Her eye area looks pretty good in the cover picture and her eyes aren't stretched up into cat's eyes like Joan Rivers' eyes.

So that's all good, but with plastic surgery, I always wonder - what if the surgeons f*cked it up? What if your body got infected and your face turned into a puffy, pus-filled nightmare? And, worst of all, what if you died on the table or shortly after the surgery? Those risks combined with the high cost of surgery are a huge deterrent. Not to mention that there is a major stigma attached to plastic surgery. Um, vain much? (Why yes, I am. Thanks for asking.)

I think I'll stick with make-up and sunscreen and if things get really bad, I'll arrange to only socialize in dim or candle-lit environments. Everyone looks better when it's dark, right? That's why living in Washington is so great. (What, it's August 27th? It's so overcast and dark out that I thought it was February. My, your skin looks dewy!)