Sister Christian

My Mom asked me to go to the Christian Faith Center this past Sunday. She doesn't typically go to church and had never been there before, but thought it would be fun on Easter. I agreed on the grounds that it would be an interesting social observation. I was hoping not to get struck by a bolt of lightning when I entered, because I don't think I had actually been to a church service since 1985. (Although, I have been inside churches for weddings, but that's a bit different.)

When we rolled in on Sunday at 11:45am, the parking lot was packed. There were tons of people scurrying into the church to get out of the rain. And I use the term "church" loosely. When we entered, I noticed there was no beautiful architechture or stained glass or even pews. It was a big auditorium with with regular chairs like you'd find at a buffet or hotel restaurant, a ginormous stage with big speakers, a choir, a full band complete with electric guitar, bass and drums, and two huge LCD screens to project the images of the performers on the stage, kind of like at a concert.

An usher led us to our chairs and we sat down, a bit overwhelmed. There were lots of little kids dressed in their Sunday best, a smattering of elderly people and a lot of 30 and 40-something couples. Most people were dressed pretty nicely, but I saw a few people in jeans.

After we'd been seated for a few moments, someone (the preacher? the pastor?) came out and asked everyone to stand up. He had a mike and said a few words about Jesus being risen and then broke into song. The lights dimmed and the LCD monitors projected biblical images and had the lyrics to the songs running along the bottom of the screen so people could sing along.

It was....Church-a-roke! (Well, that's not what they called it, but I'm willing to sell the trademark, if they're interested.)

Most people stayed standing, but we sat down. When the song ended, the choir started up with another one, but it didn't have the lyrics on the screen. Next, they brought up a bunch of little kids and then the kids did the backing vocals (they sang the word "hallelujah" over and over) while a lead singer woman sang a rockin' tune about the Lord (I had been hoping for a sing-along of "Sister Christian", because I could really get behind that, but no dice). After a few more songs, a video of Jesus being nailed to the cross was played. I think Jesus looks a bit like Matthew McConaughey, don't you?

Then there was more loud Christian rock singing. My Mom had had enough at that point, so we got to leave. We were motoring, and I was pretty happy. It's truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue. (Sing it with me now - we're motooooring! What's your price for flight?)