Smiley

You know what I hate? Well, I am crotchety, so I hate a lot of things. Unfair question. But what really irritates me is those goddamn emoticons that people use in emails and in comments on blogs and anywhere else they think they are "cute" or "funny".

Sure, I use the smile on occasion...but this one: :-) Not the ones that AOL has or the ones that cry, or laugh or other things that only a person with a single digit age should appreciate.

The people that use emoticons are the same people that put more than one question mark after a sentence. For example: "OMG, he did a body shot off your shoulder?????????" I get it. I'm not in remedial English class. I understand with just one question mark. The exclamation mark is also often misused. Here's an example: "I just saw you on the new "Girls Gone Wild" DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sure, I'd hate to be on "Girls Gone Wild", but one exclamation mark or maybe two tops is more than enough.

If the multiple question marks/exclamation marks and rampant use of emoticons is not enough to annoy the shit out of me, some people (whose names I won't mention...) also add a cherry on top of this annoying sundae and write their emails/comments in COLOR! Sometimes, if writing in a big, fluffy lilac font isn't enough, these people will write in multiple pastel colors. It's enough to make you wish you could read Braille.

So, if you want to add spice to your communication, just use run-on sentences and lots of parentheses (I love the parentheses) like me. But, for the love of God and my sanity, please leave the emoticons and colored text for the kiddies.