Brad or Vince?

I'm a little slow to weigh in on this, but since the tabloids at the grocery checkout line still seem to be jam-packed with stories about Jen, Brad, Angelina and Vince, then I'm going to chip in my two cents...

Could Jennifer Aniston BE any more lucky to be rid of Brad Pitt? The man hasn't been in a good movie since "Fight Club" and he talks like he has erasers stuck in the back of his mouth. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" sucked so much that I would have been happier watching repeats of "Malcolm in the Middle" on Q13 Fox. And now that he's with Angelina Jolie, well, let's just say that I'm pretty sure she's an alien. Nobody from planet earth has lips that pert and pouty. Except Lisa Rinna. And I don't think she's an alien per se, but her body is clearly composed of 98% collagen at a minimum. (I wonder if that helps her to dance?)

Vince Vaughn, on the other hand, is attractive and funny and has been in some of my favorite movies, which I have mentioned here in past posts. (If "Old School" doesn't make you laugh until milk comes out your nose, then you obviously aren't drinking milk.) Plus, he doesn't have a speech impediment and he's tall - 6'5" to be exact. (I read an article once that said Brad Pitt wears a dress size 7. First of all, that has to be a junior's size, and second of all, I could never date someone that wears a smaller size than I do. But we're talking about Jennifer Aniston here and I don't know what size she wears. Regardless, she's still better off with Vince.)

So let's review. Vince: hot, tall, talks normally, funny movies. Brad: bad movies (I want my money back for "Seven Years in Tibet"), too short, elococution almost more annoying than Keanu Reeves, married to an alien.

Jennifer Aniston is the winner hands down. And even though her last couple movies have been stinkers at the box office (I didn't see "Rumor Has It", but the Kevin Costner factor was enough to keep me away), I will forgive her, because she was full of flare in "Office Space". Mmm'kay?