Early Bird

Some people think that waking up to birds chirping is a good thing. I think it's the most annoying thing to wake up to (aside from the paper boy....but I fixed him. His supervisor was notified after I called the newspaper about five times and Mr. Paper Boy had to get his muffler fixed. So there.)

To fill the noise void that the newspaper delivery person's car left, the "house sparrows" in my neighborhood have started squawking at about 4:30am. The lighter it gets, the more they shriek. It is so noisy that I have to shut my bathroom window in the morning because I can't hear KEXP on my Hello Kitty shower radio. Yes, it's that bad.

To add insult to injury, I have to hear the damn birds on my commute to work. I listen to NPR in the morning and at 9am, they have a segment called "Bird Note". It is sponsored by the Seattle Audubon Society. Yesterday, Bird Note featured the "house sparrow" and their shrill screeching that passes for birdsong. They suggested putting out a birdbath with about and inch of water in it, so that you can attract the house sparrow to your yard and invite their birdsongs into your home. What I'd like to get is a big fat cat to hunt the g.d birds and silence their squawking. We can't have pets, though, so what I do instead is avoid the birds by running my white noise machine at night and closing my windows. If I do come accross any house sparrows when I'm sitting on my deck, I casually spray them with the hose. It's my own special brand of bird bath.