Can You Hear Me Now?

I think I'm probably one of the last people in the industrialized nations not to have a cell phone.
I have purposely resisted getting a cell phone for a couple reasons. First, I have managed to get through life up until now without a cell phone, so why start now? Also, I'm stingy and I don't want to pay for a cell phone bill every month. Lastly and most importantly, I think cell phones are very annoying and highly misused.

All through life, I have survived with only a land line. If people wanted to contact me, they just called me on my home phone (what a concept) or just ran into me. It was pretty easy to make a plan with friends and then do what we planned. We didn't call each other fifty times to check in.

One of the things that turns me off most about cell phones is the rampant abuse of the ability to talk to anyone, anywhere at any time. If one more person is standing ahead of me in line at the grocery store and tells the cashier to hold on while she is having a retarded conversation on her cell phone, I will pull her hair. I will.

I don't want to listen to her yak on and on, "Yeah, uh-huh, I'll be there in 20 minutes," pause. "Yeah, I'm at Ballard Market," pause. "No, I told YOU to get the salsa and I would get the beer", pause, nods to cashier rudely, who is just doing her job and ringing people up because they are currently the next in line to pay. "What, no, I can't hear you," pause, shoves money at the cashier for being so mean as to tell her the total of her bill and interrupt her incredibly self-centered behavior. "Ok, I'm just paying," snatching the receipt and change from checker and smashing it into her purse, grabbing her bag from the bagger, who was asinine enough to bag her groceries, continuing, "Is Ray-Ray going to be there? What?" pause, walking away, "Yes, I'm walking out the door now..." turns and screeches, "Ouch, did you just pull my hair?!"