Sew and Sew

A couple years ago, I decided that I was going to learn to sew. I was looking for a new direction and thought it would be great to start a new educational program. So, I signed up for one of the first prereq classes for the Apparel Design program at Seattle Central Community College.

Before the class, I had very little sewing experience. I have zero patience, and all that measuring and cutting just seemed like a waste of time. My aunt and my grandma can both sew really well, so I just relied on them to make things for me.

The only other sewing experience that I endeavored to try was in 6th grade Home Economics. We had a choice to make a pair of shorts or a skirt. I chose to make a pair of shorts out of purple cotton fabric. My aunt helped me pick it out and I guess I actually sewed them, because they became a real pair of shorts. I couldn't wear them, though, because I made the elastic in the waistband too small, so wearing them felt like a boa constrictor was cinched around my middle.

The sewing class at Seattle Central started out alright. When I walked into the classroom on the first day, I saw fashion magazines strewn around the break area. Jackpot! I though, wow, this is the class for me!

However, we started out at a pretty fast pace. After we learned how make a few different seams, our first major project was to make a pillow. We were to make the pillow itself using muslin and then stuff it. Then we could choose any "fashion fabric" that we liked for the pillow case. I wanted to use pink faux fur on one side and then pink satin on the other. My teacher said that would be too difficult for a beginner and that I should use cotton perma press fabric.

Undaunted, I went to JoAnn's fabric in Ballard and looked at all the fabric. I found one that had a Japanese feel. It was a pattern of clouds with bits of gold accent in the clouds. I really liked it. I was so excited to get started on my project!

We had class once a week in the evening. I was unemployed at the time, so this was no big deal. It was pretty much all I was doing besides job hunting. Gag.

At the beginning of each class, our teacher would show us what we'd be working on and then she'd turn us loose to work on our own pillows. Now, let me tell you about industrial sewing machines. They are not for the faint of heart. I'm still surprised that I didn't sew my arms together. They go like wildfire and some are even faster than others. Our teacher said the needles are so strong, that they could sew right over your finger and not stop. What?!

I trundled into class every week, carrying my fishing tackle box of supplies. The pillow turned out ok and I got a so-so (sew - sew? - sorry, I can't resist a good pun...) grade on it. I was kind of disappointed, because I thought it was the best f*cking pillow I'd ever seen!! But, I still had a decent grade thanks to our weekly quizzes, so I tried to put it in perspective.

After the pillow project, we would be spending the rest of the quarter on a vest sample. I didn't know what "sample" meant before I signed up for the class. I do now. A sample is made of muslin fabric (boring creme colored cotton) and is not sized to fit. It is a size 6 and is made to show what the garment will look like. I was crestfallen! I wanted someone to be able the damn vest when I got it all done - and I don't even like vests!

I was starting to get a little frustrated, but I tried to remain calm. We started cutting out the fabric so that we could begin to piece together the vests. This all sounds pretty simple, right? You just cut some fabric, sew it, then slap on some buttons and - Presto! - you've got a vest. Au contraire, Mon Frere!

Making that vest was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. You have to measure every little thing, the sewing machines are hard to control and everything builds on the last thing you did. You also have to use industrial irons to iron the fabric and to press on this fabric to strengthen the area where the buttons will go. (I forget what it's called.) Anyway, those irons are hotter than Hades and have searing steam coming out of them. They scared me more than the sewing machines.

I tried to do as much work at home so that I wouldn't have to spend my life in the sewing lab. But even sewing on the buttons was hard. There is a special way that we had to do it. I still don't understand it. You take a "bite" of the fabric with the needle and thread, then you sew through it and make a shank and sew through the shank four times, curse, poke your finger until it bleeds, take the Lord's name in vane, and then say, "Fuck it, I'm going to Old Navy."

By some miracle, I finished the vest. I got a pretty crappy grade on it compared to other assignments that I've done for colleges classes. It didn't matter, though, because by this point, I had no interest in pursuing an Apparel Design degree anymore. I was just glad to be finished and proud of myself for not dropping the class.

I've sewn on some buttons and fixed the lining on my coat since the class. I have a lot of respect for anyone that can actually sew nice things and not end up in a heap on the floor crying and swearing. As for me, I think I will stick to thrift shopping and bargain hunting and leave the sewing to underage sweatshop workers in China.